Since going to Beatrix potter I decided to see another ballet and i swear to god I have never ever witnessed anything so beautiful in my life. i cried thorugh the second half, espeically the bit where people let him down over and over ahgain and hes just craving for love from his mother and from the male swan and from everybody. and he gets humiliated in front of everyone and they all laugh at him and you see his jealousy and hurt and lonliness. and when he tries to force his mother to care and how she rejects him and makes him stand properly in front of the mirror. how he gets lost in alcohol and women and the poses of how he tries to get away from it but he cant.
the rejection is something i face everyday from unforseen circumstances in my life. the frustration i get from not being able to communicate with my mother, the lonliness and rejection i get from her drinking. the need to push ppl to be there for me when they wont be. I cant describe how much i related to that ballet. and this is exactly the kind of work i want to make.
that feeling of just complete rejection and lonliness. this sadness to keep living without something that feels neccessary but obviosulyn isnt because im still functioning. that missing piece. that longing which drives u into dispair and makes u drink and makes the voice and clock tick and tock.
it was beyond euphoric.
I also loved the modern take on things with the little lady that fed ducks and the club.
also i realised that the setting are always the generic setting of a castle. like the ones that would be in a fariy tale. you wouldnt actually see these kind of objects in real life unless u went to disney world or something. it didnt look like anything from real life but it looked so familiar.
similar to what james was saying about the generic lamp where an artist wanted to cast a generic lamp but couldnt find it and ended up taking lots of different bits from different lamps and stuck them 2gether to make the right one. that feeling u get when something is right or wrong but u cant find it in reality.
introducing this into my work. this is where the solar system went wrong.
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